Sometimes I like to think I'm Superwoman. Minus the cape.

This semester, I am taking 15 credit hours, have a 25-30 hours/week internship, Camp Adventure training, 2 part-time jobs, and am still trying to find a little time to squeeze in a workout and some socialization on the side.  I tend to overextend myself, and so to compensate, I just pretend I'm Superwoman. :)


Last night at Salt Company, the speaker talked about the old "humans are the branches, God is the vine that sustains us" analogy from the book of John.  I've heard this particular speech many, many times, but for some reason last night it took on different meaning.  I realized that God calls us (the screwed-up, faulty people that we are) to live this life in which we abide by these "rules" that are contradictory to our human nature.  It's unnatural.  Which then begs the question, how do we do it? Well, that's when we are supposed to draw our strength from the vine.  As branches alone, we will wither and die.  But if we let the vine sustain us, we will bear fruit.


However, this is where things become problematic for Superwoman.  See, I would rather be the vine.  I don't need help and I don't need to be sustained.  I am managing just fine on my own, thank you very much. 
Wrong.  I have gotten very good at beating myself up over my mistakes.  Feelings of guilt and shame have become close friends.  I have even let myself be tricked into believing that I am just not cut out for this good, pure, joyous life that Jesus offers.  
So last night, I finally grew out of the childhood fantasy of believing that I am Superwoman (and it only took me 22 years!) and realized that if I want to truly succeed and lose those feelings of guilt and shame for good, I don't get to do it by myself.  I need to be sustained; I need to draw strength from a higher power.


The good news in all of this? I have a loving God who is much bigger and more powerful than Superwoman could ever be, and He happens to adore me despite all my shortcomings and mistakes.  He forgives me when I am unable to forgive myself, and He wants to help.  He is waiting to be my vine. 


How awesome is that?!?