I Have NEWS!!!!!

I WAS ACCEPTED INTO TEACH FOR AMERICA!!!!!


I am placed in Colorado tentatively teaching Special Education, and could not be more excited about that placement. This summer, I will head to Denver from June 8-12 for Induction, attend Institute (learning how to be a teacher!) from June 13-July 17, and then will fly back to Iowa to get all my stuff moved to Colorado before Orientation starts on July 22! I have a feeling it'll be a wild ride :) For those of you who know me well, you probably know how over-the-moon excited (and a little nervous) I am about all of this, but here's the background story that you might not know...


When I first heard about Teach for America and their wonderful mission, I was hooked. I knew that this was something I wanted to do. Then the facts hit. Teach for America only accepts between 15-20% of their applicants, and some have said that that percentage is even less these days due to the economy and a larger applicant pool. With this realization, as I began my senior year, I thought about not applying. Subconsciously, I figured it was better to not ever apply than to be rejected from something I cared about so deeply. So I put off applying. Again and again.


Finally, in February I got an email about the final deadline approaching. At this point, I decided to just go ahead and give it a shot. A few weeks later, I got another email saying that I was being bypassed through the round of phone interviews, and needed to sign up for a final interview day.


The week before my interview, I had a really rough week. The kind of week where you find out that your ex has moved on and is dating someone else because you didn't have time to date him...that kind of week. I was a wreck. One night, I was talking to my mom on the phone, and she gave me some of that tough lovin' that only mothers can give. She told me that she was very proud of me for being so motivated, but that I have a tendency to make myself so busy that my actual priorities get lost in the mix. She told me she was happy that I was trying for Teach for America, but she hoped that I understood that this would be a huge commitment and that I couldn't be upset if, after my two years, I was still alone because I had, once again, been too busy.


Well, this was a scary idea. If I had to make the choice between having a career and having a family, having a family would always win, hands down. But this conversation led me to question whether or not the daily decisions I was making were a reflection of those priorities, and for a few days, I began to seriously think about withdrawing from the Teach for America process. Then I had a chat with my dear best friend, Rachel, who is also an expert at the tough love, and whose honesty is extremely refreshing. She let me know that it would be different if I actually had the concrete decision to make between family and career, but right now, I don't. Right now, all I have are these motivations and ambitions and talents that God has given me, and it would be wasteful of me to not use them. Not to mention how limiting it was to say that God would be unable to bring someone into my life in the face of a high-demand career.
True, right? What a lucky girl I am to have such smart, honest people in my life. :)


So, I went through with the interview. It was scary. I prayed and worshipped the whole way to Grinnell that Tuesday morning, only breaking twice to practice my 5-minute lesson plan. And you know what? The interview day could not have gone better. It really couldn't have. I left that day just knowing that God had been there and had been at work.


After the interview day came the waiting. I decided to give the process completely to God, and that I would be at peace with whatever the outcome was, knowing that it was His best for my life. I was also realistic about the odds.


Then, the Thursday before I was going to find out, I prayed out loud during the day that God would really speak to me that day. That He would do something extraordinary in my life, because while I have been understanding His truths in my head, I have felt very little with my heart. That night at Salt, Mark talked about his calling to move to Iowa City with The Salt Company and how scary that was, but that he wouldn't be going alone. God was going with him, and it would be okay. In the middle of this talk, God spoke. I imagine our conversation went a little something like this:


God: Ashley, tell someone that you are going to get into Teach for America.
Ashley: Uh, no way, God. Maybe you haven't seen the statistics of that actually happening..but the odds are very much against me, and I'd rather not look like an idiot, thanks.
God: Ashley, do you really think that I am not powerful enough to make this happen? Tell someone, give Me the glory.
Ashley: Not happening.
God: Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.


At this point in my struggle between obedience and pride, the band began playing a song called "Second Chance" that goes a little something like this:


"So I wait upon You now
With my hands released to You
Where a little faith's enough
To see mountains lift and move"


Wow. Okay, God. I'm listening now.
After Salt, as my friend Nathan and I were walking to my car, I finally swallowed my pride. I told him that I knew this sounded crazy, but that God had spoken to me and that I was going to get into Teach for America. Nathan was so gracious in that he didn't laugh at me, and seemed very intrigued at the fact that God had spoken so clearly.
Over the next few days, I seriously regretted saying anything. Now I was going to look like a crazy person when I didn't get accepted. I was doubtful, and still God carried out His plan.


On Monday evening, when I got the email saying that I got in, I cried. So did both of my parents (although my dad will not freely admit it) :) I know that I did not get in on my own accord. I don't have an outstanding GPA, I don't have outrageous leadership experience, and I don't have a rigorous and unique major. I was not capable on my own. And still Jesus has used these things to fulfill His mission.


I am nervous about moving, I am nervous about getting an actual position, I am nervous about teaching. But I don't have to be. It's being taken care of :)